Mixed feelings about weaning

I have been breastfeeding my son Gavin for almost a year and it has been one of the best experiences of my life! Gavin and I have both had countless benefits from breastfeeding. The milk helped him thrive (he was born 5 weeks premature), he hardly ever gets sick, has never had an ear infection, he is so smart, and he really seems to love it. For me breastfeeding helped me lose most of by post baby weight (I gained 50 pounds!), and it has help me form a close attachment with Gavin. Even though I have basically given my bod up, I still love it.

As much as I love nursing Gavin, I know I can't do it forever. But right now the thought of stopping makes me really sad. I know the minuet I tell Gavin's dad that I am going to wean him, he will probably go to court and file a for more visitation. Right now my baby daddy sees Gavin from Monday-Thursday while I am at work. It works out okay even with the drama he TRIES to put me through. He has expressed to the court in the past that he really wants Gavin overnight so he can get "the full fatherly experience," but I totally am not agreement with that. First because I think Gavin is too young to be away from me at night and secondly because he already has ample visitation with his father. I know this is all a plow by my baby daddy to reduce the amount of child support he must pay to me (Overnights give you an adjustment to child support in New Jersey).

My baby daddy is so upset about the fact that he has to pay child support, that he totally does not care what's in Gavin's best interest. Every night I give Gavin a bath, he watches his Baby Einstein movie, I read him his favorite book "Good Puppy", I sing to him, and nurse him to sleep. Gavin has never been away for me at night and he can't fall asleep unless I'm there with him (I have tried). Why should Gavin have to suffer because my baby daddy does not want to gave me a dime?!?!?!?

In all the research I have done it says that children should not have overnight visits until they are around 3 years old, when they are able to understand that they are coming home eventually. Otherwise if they are too young they may feel abandoned by mom.

Anyway, I know I got sidetracked with the overnight visitation talk. But, I think I am going to start slowly weaning Gavin over the next few months and the nighttime feedings will be the last to go. Wish me luck! I leave you with this question: What are breast for? We have breast almost our entire lives, it just seems to be such a shame that we don't use them more often for what God really created them for.

Genene